Nearly every time I go grocery shopping at Safeway, they have some kind of charity that they are trying to raise money for. In a recent stop at the grocery store, I was interested by the cashier’s choice of words: instead of asking, “Would you like to donate x amount of money to x organization?”, he said, “Can we donate x amount of money to x organization today?”.
The “would/can” and the “you/we” make a very big difference, rhetorically speaking. When the cashier says “would you”, it implies that you are the one in control. “Can we”, is more of a group initiative, suggesting that the cashier is involved and wants to donate but is being polite by requesting your affirmation.
Saying “no” to “would you” is likely fairly common. Responding with a “no” to “can we”, however, drives the point much further home that you do not want to give to that particular charity. The words “can we” are effective for inducing guilt.
I would be fascinated to know how much more money Safeway can raise for worthy causes by using the words can we rather than would you.