“Kill your darlings” is one of the most well-known pieces of writing advice out there, and — like many things! — it’s easier said than done.
I’ve been thinking about that phrase a lot lately because I’m currently in the midst of doing a bunch of rewrites for my next romcom novel (it’s the 8th in my Polyamorous Passions series, and it’ll be the 9th novel I’ve published!)...
…and guess what? "Kill your darlings" 100% ties back into being a business owner 😉
Let’s get into it:
I wrote the first almost-full draft of my current work-in-progress manuscript about a year ago. And then, about 6 months ago, I rewrote the entire thing because I wasn’t satisfied with the plot and characters.
And now? I’m rewriting the entire manuscript AGAIN because it needs an upgrade to be more cohesive with the previous novels in the series. (I’ll likely do one more rewrite before I move fully into the editing stage, because the tone of the story isn’t QUITE where I want it to be — but it’s getting there!)
Anyway, as you can imagine, there’s been a LOT of killing my darlings in this process.
The concept of “kill your darlings” is more of a mindset thing than anything else. You can logically see that this scene or that character or this dialogue or that theme doesn’t *work* for your story… but then you need to be able to wrap your head around it.
You need to be okay with letting go.
→ You need to give yourself permission to release the extras so that the true core of the story gets to shine through.
Here’s how I’ve been managing the mindset aspect of killing my darlings: I don’t actually delete anything. Instead, I label each full manuscript as *version XYZ.*
Why does that work? Because by allowing it to still exist *in some form*, I’m not really killing it. It still exists — just not in THIS iteration of the story.
And sometimes I’ll even view it as parallel universes: “In another universe, that other version of the story is the one that made it to publication.” It still gets to live on! I can still appreciate it and see its value, without NEEDING it to be a part of THIS particular version of the story.
In that way, I guess I’m not really killing my darlings.
→ I’m setting aside my darlings.
"Kill your darlings" as a tip for business owners...
So… How does this connect back to business?
Because in your business, you need to make MANY decisions. It can feel intimidating; it can cause you to freeze and not move forward at all.
(Think: Sylvia Plath and her fig tree. You don’t want your figs to rot! You don’t want your choices to be taken away from you by not making any choice at all.)
But what if you viewed each of those decisions as still getting an opportunity to exist, somewhere, just not in THIS iteration of life? Another version of you could have made some other decision. Some version of you out there gets to have that thing. Or you could revisit that decision (or some variation of it) in the future.
When you look at it that way, THIS version of you gets to have what it most deeply desires. It’s easier to let go of some choices and to make the *right-for-you* choices when you think about all that you can gain from this decision, rather than the loss of other things that may occur from making this decision.
You aren’t killing your darlings.
You’re simply setting aside some of your darlings, to make the most important darlings *in this moment* shine most brightly.
Here’s a practical way to LITERALLY set aside your darlings:
Stop deleting ideas that you aren’t going to pursue. Just because you’re not going to implement a particular plan NOW doesn’t mean you need to burn it into oblivion.
Instead, create something like an “Ideas Bucket” where you can plop any ideas, plans, strategies, goals, etc that aren’t quite right at this point in time — so that you can, if you so wish, revisit them in the future.
(I do this with my creating writing, too: If there’s a particular scene or dialogue snippet or description etc that I love but it doesn’t fit with the manuscript, I’ll sometimes copy and paste it into a General Ideas & Scenes document so that I can theoretically reuse it in some other manuscript in the future.
It doesn’t just live on in a past version of the manuscript; now it gets to live on in a potential future different story — and it'll be that much more powerful when I eventually DO use it, because THAT will be the right story for it to appear in.)
This weekend, explore how you can implement some variation of the concept of “killing your darlings”...
- What are you clinging to (in life or in business), that doesn’t actually fit with your values, personality, and goals?
- What is it about *letting go* of those things that feels so challenging?
- How does it feel to *set aside* those darlings? (If it feels like a weight off your shoulders, that’s generally a good indicator that it’s something you’ve been wanting to release for a while.)
You can apply this to just about ANYTHING:
- Strategies in your business (it’s okay to pivot!).
- People/brands you follow on social media or email lists you’re subscribed to (it’s okay to unfollow or unsubscribe!).
- Hobbies or pastimes (it’s okay for your interests to change!).
- Products or services you offer in your business (it’s okay to allow them to evolve!).
- ...etc.
See what *aha* moments you have — and then take action on it!
Did you enjoy this blog post?
It was repurposed from the Solopreneur Diary Entries weekly newsletter (June 8, 2024 edition)!
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