Why changing a behaviour is NOT enough to shift habits

Why changing a behaviour is NOT enough to shift habits

You’re tired of how you act, and you want to change your habits. But hold up — there’s a reason why so many New Year’s resolutions quickly fall by the wayside! In this video, let’s dive into why changing your behaviours and actions is NOT enough — and what you need to do instead in order to ACTUALLY get that long-lasting change in habits that you are so desperately seeking.

The strategies you choose and the actions you take are ROOTED in your mindset.

If you want to make awesome progress on your goals or change how you're approaching your business, it's not *just* about changing your behaviour!

Changing a behaviour is a surface-level fix — which means that if we solely focus on "Just do XYZ instead," it's not going to fix it.

For example: A while back, one of my coaching clients was unnecessarily going out of her way (like, WAY above and beyond!) for other people in her life, and in particular, this was showing up in her business.

Now, I'm a big fan of over-delivering — but this was taking a toll on her and it was putting a strain on the work she was doing and her feelings about it.

If I had told my client, "Stop going above and beyond. Just don't do it anymore," then she MIGHT have "disciplined" herself to stop doing it...

...but here's what would've probably happened:

  • She would've felt a lot of resistance, discomfort, and guilt around it.
  • It wouldn't deal with the underlying REASON WHY she was above-and-beyond over-delivering in her business — which means that "disciplining" herself would only be a temporary, surface-level fix (in other words, it wouldn't last).
  • At some point, she'd slip back into the habit of going above and beyond for her own clients — or she’d find new ways to excessively over-deliver!
  • Over time, this would turn into resentment toward her clients, and she might end up burning her business to the ground because it wouldn't be what she wanted anymore (and get severely burned out, herself, along the way).

That's why instead, we did mindset coaching on it.

We dug into this extra work she was creating for herself, and we discovered that it actually had to do with deep-rooted insecurities she was feeling.

So we worked through those insecurities, and that affected OTHER aspects of both her personal life and professional life.

Here's what happened as a result of us doing coaching on this:

  • My client stopped doing the extra unnecessary busy work — because she WANTED TO STOP, not because she was trying to "force" herself to stop or to "discipline" herself.
  • She improved her confidence about the work she does, her relationship with herself, and her relationships with her clients.
  • She has a greater understanding of what things she wants to take responsibility for vs what things she's willing to release control over — which helps a HUGE amount with decision making and having an objective perspective.
  • She learned new things about herself — personally and professionally — so that now she can *see* other gaps and process them more quickly (which means they aren't holding her back anymore).
  • She now has tools to address similar insecurities if/when they arise in the future (always expanding that skillset and resources toolkit!).

NONE of that would have come to light if I'd just told her "Don't do that thing anymore."

(Plus, she likely would've experienced a lot of other emotions, like shame and self doubt and judgment — which can be exhausting! — every time the urge to *do the busy task* arose!)

Here's your takeaway:

  1. Changing your behaviour is ESSENTIAL for making change and awesome progress.
  2. Changing your behaviour *on its own* is NOT enough.
  3. You NEED to understand WHY you are doing this vs that… and then work through that in order to make it 10x easier and smoother for you to implement the desired behaviour.

This is the power of doing the deep inner mindset work.

And we can do this work together! Are you ready to align your actions with your mindset and ACTUALLY make the changes you’ve been struggling with?

I’ve got you! Book your personal fulfillment coaching session today: