“You just need to work harder” — why this is bad advice for solopreneurs (and what you can do instead)

Transcript:

Solopreneurship can be a challenge, to say the least. Have you ever felt bad about yourself, that maybe you feel like you lack the discipline to be successful as a solopreneur? Or have you been told that you aren't as successful as you could be, because you just don't want it enough or “you're not trying hard enough”? In this video, we're going to debunk those concepts entirely. 

My name is Sagan Morrow and I'm an anti hustle Productivity Strategist and internationally board certified Success and Life Coach who specializes in working with solopreneurs. Be sure to grab my free training, Anti Hustle Secrets to Solopreneur Success! 

Now let's get into today's video — This whole concept of “you just need to try harder.” This idea that if you aren't successful, whatever success means, as a solopreneur it's because you aren't disciplined enough or you don't want it enough. It is time to debunk this myth!

So let's take this a step back. Have you ever watched Sex in the City? It's you know, it's a little bit dated at this point. It still has its moments, but it's kind of dated. But there is this one episode that has really stuck with me over the years. So this episode happens where the main character Carrie goes out with one of her best friends Charlotte, and they're at a dating seminar, and the end result is that the dating seminar instructor tells Charlotte that *it is her problem* that she has not been able to find someone and fall in love. Charlotte hasn't been able to meet anyone because she doesn't want it enough. She hasn't tried hard enough. 

Now in this episode, Carrie is outraged because if you know anything about Sex and the City, Charlotte's entire character arc is that she's a romantic who wants to find her dream man. She wants to just fall in love and live happily ever after. She wants it to happen, and yet she is struggling to make it her reality.

This episode reminds me so much of the world of online business and solopreneurship in particular. So if you've ever been told that you are the problem, you know, and that YOU are the reason for your business struggles, it's all just because “you aren’t trying hard enough” — If you've ever been told that you must just be making excuses, and that's kind of being dismissed as the reason for your frustrations, “if you just try harder, if you were just more disciplined, then you'd be fine. You just don't want it enough; that's your problem.” 

…If you’ve been told that, I want you to know that none of that is true. None of that is true. You are not the problem. Okay? There are so many reasons for why you might be struggling or why you might not be as successful as you want to be as a solopreneur. There are so many different external issues that are at play that are completely beyond your control. And there are all kinds of internal bottlenecks that are holding you back as well. 

This does not mean, again, that you are the problem. This means that yes, you might be getting in your own way. But the solution isn't that you should just stop being the problem. That isn't a solution at all. That is not helpful at all. 

There are reasons why you might be getting in your own way. And until you're really able to see those patterns that you are up keeping, and until you really truly understand the root causes for those things, you're just going to keep struggling. So again, this means that you are not the problem, there are deeper issues at play. 

So in that Sex in the City episode that I mentioned, when that dating seminar instructor tells Charlotte that you know is her own issue to deal with, “you just need to try harder,” she is saying that because it's the easy way out. Because that's easiest for the instructor to just say it's a huge problem. “It's not a me problem,” right? It's because the instructor doesn't want to dig deeper and figure out how Charlotte might be holding herself back. 

It is so much easier for experts and gurus and all of these different people to brush things off as a “you” problem but the truth is, again, it's not a “you” problem at all. 

And if you take an online course or a coaching program and it doesn't work out for you or you try a particular technique, or a strategy or a system, and something's just not quite right about it, it does not mean that you are a failure by any means. 

For example, one of the biggest problems that I see with traditional productivity methods is that they take a very much a one size fits all approach. So if you try a productivity hack or a time saving technique, and it doesn't work out for you, you might think “I'm just not trying hard enough,” right? “I guess I just don't want my goals enough. It's my fault that this isn't working.”

But here's the thing, that productivity hack or that time saving technique might not be the right one for your unique situation, your unique brain, your unique personality, your unique lifestyle or wants or needs. So you probably do not have a problem with discipline. 

Your problem is not that you lack discipline. You probably also do not have a problem or you're not working hard enough. You're probably working very hard! You are trying hard. The problem then is not you, the problem is that the tactics that you're using, they might not be a good fit for you. Or the problem is the external obstacles getting in your way, and you don't know what you can do to overcome them. Or the problem is internal bottlenecks that are tripping you up. And you just haven't figured out yet how to best navigate them. 

When you approach business and life through this lens, you can then take action to do something about it without putting yourself down. It is so much more empowering to be able to really recognize that you are absolutely 100% capable. 

I believe in you. Take this video as a reminder that it's time to believe in yourself as well!

Now I am curious about what aspects of your business you might have believed in that you were the problem in the past. I would really love to know, if you want to share that with me in the comments on YouTube! 

If you have certain things that you're now thinking about as a result of this, this has helped you shift your mindset a little bit and what you're going to do now, what your next steps are going to be to take action on these concepts… Now that you know that you are not the problem, what are you going to do about it? 

Are you going to start looking at the different techniques that you're using and maybe try changing them because they're not working for you? They might not be the right fit for you. Are you going to start exploring your internal bottlenecks a little bit more (whether that's perfectionism or impostor syndrome, or procrastination, etc)? 

What are you going to do now that you know that you are not the problem, that there are other factors at play, and you can actually still do something about it? I would love to know so please do share with me in the comments on this YouTube video.

If you enjoyed this video, please subscribe to my solopreneur YouTube channel, give this video a thumbs up, and also drop a comment on YouTube sharing your favourite takeaway from today's video.

Don't forget to attend my free on-demand training, Anti-hustle Secrets to Solopreneur Success. It teaches you a whole lot more about how to fix your solopreneur problems so that you can skyrocket your success. Enjoy!